In the spirit of 4/20, we thought it appropriate to do some careful analysis of one of our gayvorite drug smuggling MILFs, Nancy Botwin. Without further ado we present...
The Top 10 Reasons Why Nancy Botwin Pisses Us Off!
10. Money problems? Quit the iced-mochas and sell the hybrid.
9. Forget the security of her "real job." No matter what, Nancy insists on putting her family in danger because she just "really wants to deal."
8. "Mrs. Botwin" still refers to herself as "Mommy" when talking to her 13-year-old son. Cue Shane's Oedipal complex.
7. Nancy somehow never manages to solve any of her problems using wit or resourcefulness, unless you count resourcefulness as spreading your legs and forgetting the rest.
6. Nancy is still peddling the “poor-old-unfortunate-hot-widow” act, even though she should have dropped it after she started selling to kids and then kind of admitted she didn't really love her dead husband anymore.
5. She actually let Mary Kate "E.T." Olsen handle her drugs.
4. Even if parental absenteeism is one of the show’s punches, Nancy's questionable parenting puts Hamlet’s Gertrude to shame.
3. We're practically forced to flirt with Nancy's naughty bits every episode of Season 4, as those god-awful-round-the-neck-
2. After two seasons of having to communicate in Spanish, the only three things she can say are “no hablo espagnol”, “Guillermo” and “mota."
1. Face it, no matter how much Nancy annoys us, the show is really about Celia, so stepthefuckaside bitch!
The Bottom Line: Parker should have left her green thumb at "Fried Green Tomatoes."
Rating: Taking your boyfriend to a Scissor Sisters concert.
Look - at least Nance holds iced-coffee the Gayvorite way. 5 pts to Gryffindor.
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