All right everyone, it's time for some female empowerment around here! That's right, Gayvorites is going lesbo for the day. Ladies, we know you have it tough right now. Lindsay and Sam just broke up, we haven't seen Ellen and Portia's honeymoon photos yet, the L Word is off the air AND Ilene Chaiken isn't even coming to your town. Sucks to be a dyke right about now, right? Wrong! If you're feeling down in the dumps, clearly you've forgotten about that little lesbian watering hole known as...the bead store.
We know how you love to be unique and counter-culture, and nothing portrays that image more than a hand beaded piece of jewelery. Your local bead store has everything you need to rock out at the next pride fest (and, for the more lucrative lesbian, make a few extra bucks. Spread your wares on a 100% natural fiber alpaca wool blanket with all the other vendors, and you're in business!) Any good bead store will have our favorite extra chunky unfinished wood pieces, some polymer clay (string them in rainbow order, and you've got yourself an essential cliche item of the dyke dress code!) and of course, let us not forget turquoise.
Turquoise is ideal because it shows off your earth-mother, environmentally conscious side while being classy enough for the power lesbians to pull off in an important business meeting. See the excellent and timely usage by Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano below. Notice how the extra long dangling strand offsets the coming onslaught of swine flu.
Good to Know: In this economy, making your own jewelry is not only resourceful, but so much lez expensive.
The Bottom Line: Turquoise rules as the "tough woman" of semi-precious stones.
Rating: Bette and Tina moving back in together.
"Notice how the extra long dangling strand offsets the coming onslaught of swine flu."
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